Apr 7, 2006

Ohio Chiropractor Claims Ability to Time Travel

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(Columbus, OH) An Ohio chiropractor who claims he can treat patients by traveling back in time has appeared on the radar screen of state regulators.

The Ohio State Chiropractic Board notified James Burda this week that he must appear at a hearing on his healing techniques. The state complaint says that Burda is unable to provide services to his patients "according to acceptable and prevailing standards of care due to mental illness, specifically, Delusional Disorder, Grandiose Type."

Burda's website refers to his special abilities as "Bahlaqeem," a word that he described came to him "during a period of inspiration. It is a madeup word and, to my knowledge, has no known meaning except for this intended purpose. It does, however, have a soothing vibrational influence and contains the very special number of nine letters."

Burda recounted the moment in which his gift made its presence known.

"I learned about my gift three years ago. While driving to a nearby city in order to do shopping my left foot started to hurt,"said the Athens chiropractor. "Just for amusement, I made a guess as to the exact bone involved with the pain, told the bone to realign, and the pain went away almost instantly. What a happy surprise I had."

The state considers Burda's treatments "willful and gross malpractice," and could seek penalties up to license revocation.

No bad jokes about "BACK to the Future" allowed (nor "Quack to the Future," for that matter). Violators subject to severe beatings.

7 comments:

Name withheld to protect the guilty said...

What's funny is, if he were a lay person, not a licensed chiropractor, nobody'd be able to do a damn thing about him. If someone wants to blow $60 on this crap, they should be able to (if you believe it, it will work), but not from anyone with any sort of license.

This doesn't seem much more pseudo-scientific than other chiropractors who claim to be able to help asthma by manipulating the spine, just a hell of a lot funnier.

historymike said...

Yes, it is hilarious, NWTPG.

And I agree - people keep a lot of tarot card readers, palm readers, and fortune tellers in business.

What harm is there in allowing this kook to take $60 for long-distance "healing?"

Anonymous said...
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Stephanie said...

As long as it's long distance...

I'm not sure anyone who honestly believes what this man does should be messing with anyone's spine. After all, the government has taken on the responsibility of protecting people from their own stupidity in other facets of life, this doesn't seem that much different.

Name withheld to protect the guilty said...

That's the beautiful thing, Stephanie. To read this guy's website, I don't think he's actually laid hands on a patient in years. :)

Stephanie said...

Well, then it's all good isn't it? It's safe...stupid, but safe.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, you people don't believe anything, just like: There is no ufo or other live in universe.
Nostradamus, he did not have any vision, he travel in time and he put down on papier everything he seen, every time he returned.
I believe that time travel is posible. We are just busy with our day by day work and bills.