(Columbus, OH) An Ohio chiropractor who claims he can treat patients by traveling back in time has appeared on the radar screen of state regulators.
The Ohio State Chiropractic Board notified James Burda this week that he must appear at a hearing on his healing techniques. The state complaint says that Burda is unable to provide services to his patients "according to acceptable and prevailing standards of care due to mental illness, specifically, Delusional Disorder, Grandiose Type."
Burda's website refers to his special abilities as "Bahlaqeem," a word that he described came to him "during a period of inspiration. It is a madeup word and, to my knowledge, has no known meaning except for this intended purpose. It does, however, have a soothing vibrational influence and contains the very special number of nine letters."
Burda recounted the moment in which his gift made its presence known.
"I learned about my gift three years ago. While driving to a nearby city in order to do shopping my left foot started to hurt,"said the Athens chiropractor. "Just for amusement, I made a guess as to the exact bone involved with the pain, told the bone to realign, and the pain went away almost instantly. What a happy surprise I had."
The state considers Burda's treatments "willful and gross malpractice," and could seek penalties up to license revocation.
No bad jokes about "BACK to the Future" allowed (nor "Quack to the Future," for that matter). Violators subject to severe beatings.