Mar 16, 2007

To the Dimwit at the Front of the Left Turn Lane

Dear Sir or Madam:

You occupy a particularly critical - and fortunate - place in the flow of traffic, as the people lined up behind you cannot move until you do. For this reason it is not a good idea to screw around with your cell phone, apply makeup, or read the newspaper while you wait for the left turn signal to light. This causes the people behind you to get stuck at the light that you invariably end up noticing with just enough time to let one car - yours - through the intersection.

People like me get aggravated when you zone out and fail to pay attention to the signal, causing us to sit in traffic for an annoying amount of wasted time. In addition, there is a certain bad karma associated with screwing over your fellow motorists in this way, and I suspect that your inconsiderate behavior might come back to haunt you.

Oh - and may a louse and a thousand of her hungriest offspring permanently infest your nether regions.


Anonymous said...

Gotta hate 'em, and those jerks who don't know what a turn indicator is rile me up.


News Grinder said...

I think you and I have been turning left at the same intersections. Honk if you want to join my protest march.

MP said...

Mike, I hope you're right about bad driving meaning bad karma.

That would mean that more than half the drivers out here in Chicagoland have absolute hell coming to them.

And that's well-deserved.

News Grinder said...

Half my gray hair came from driving in Chicago.

John Spalding said...

lol, I have zoned out before and missed an arrow. I have also had it happen to me. I would like to appologize personally, up front, right now, to say, if it does happen, I had a very important radio program or cell phone conversation on!

Hooda Thunkit said...


Amen bro!

(The louse and her offspring "blessing/wish" is priceless)


The Screaming Nutcase said...

"may a louse and a thousand of her hungriest offspring permanently infest your nether regions."

LOL. That sounds like some kind of translation from a Chinese curse.

Drivers are worse here in Toledo than everywhere else I've ever lived (Cleveland, Akron, Pittsburgh, even Baltimore). I tell applicants coming in for a tour that Toledo traffic is a car in the left lane doing 38, passing a car in the right lane doing 37.9, in a 45-mph zone.