Left: Mug shot of Paris Hilton courtesy of TMZ.com
I would normally rather stab my eyeballs with Phillips-head screwdrivers than write about über Schlampe Paris Hilton, but the decision to grant home confinement to the talentless heiress is the worst sort of judicial double standards. What the American public is being implicitly told is that: a) rules do not apply to celebrities; and b) money will buy you out of almost every trouble.
A spokesman for the LA County Sheriff's office disclosed that medical reasons were behind the decision.
"I can't specifically talk about the medical situation other than to say that, yes, it played a part in this," sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore said at a press conference today. Family sources suggested that a skin rash and Hilton's depression at being confined might have been the mitigating factors.
If you, me, or my brother pulled the same stunts as Paris Hilton, we would have likely received far greater sentences, and I highly doubt that a skin rash or our crocodile tears would have helped us get out of jail. This is more than a travesty of justice: the decision to release Paris Hilton is a bold-faced memorandum that social elites are treated differently than the rest of us.
The only consolation is that Paris Hilton's inability to stay out of trouble - and her arrogant disregard for the law - all but guarantees that she will violate the terms of this latest wrist-slap, and that a smart bet would be to lay down money on Paris Hilton visiting an LA County jail again.