Jan 4, 2008

On Seabiscuit Candidates

When Elizabeth Edwards, the wife of Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, told New Hampshire supporters that her husband is the "Seabiscuit" candidate, I chuckled and assumed that this comment was an off-the-cuff moment from a tired campaigner.

But then Edwards himself repeated the phrase, shouting to the crowd: "We are Seabiscuit!" At that point I rubbed my eyes and went to pour a cup of coffee to clear my head of the cobwebs that had surely collected in my head.

By the way, John and Elizabeth: Seabiscuit won a bunch of races he was supposed to lose. Coming in a distant second in Iowa cannot be considered a victory, unless your goal was only to beat Hillary Clinton. Barack Obama cleaned out the track stalls of all Democratic contenders yesterday, in keeing with the metaphor.

Not to be outdone, GOP hopeful Mike Huckabee this morning also claimed a linkage to the legendary racehorse, telling Fox & Friends: "I feel like Seabiscuit."

Let's see... exploited animal being used by big-money interests... a creature that is shaped and molded by professional trainers... unnatural stress on competitors... losers sent to slaughterhouses... nefarious characters attracted by the money and bright lights... perhaps the racehorse metaphors are appropriate for presidential campaigns.

And, as a bland cracker that causes one to wish for something more substantive, "sea biscuit" might also be an appropriate description for most of these hollow politicians, who fail to provide much in the way of policy specifics to hungry voters.

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