With temperatures in Northwest Ohio expected to drop to negative 10 degrees Fahrenheit tonight - and wind chill readings of perhaps 30 degrees below zero - I decided to dig up a pair of long johns this morning. Though I am sometimes a bit slow to learn life lessons, dressing appropriately for cold weather is one thing this Northerner knows well.
By the way: after looking at my long john-clad self in the mirror, I elected to use a generic long johns image in this post. My skinny legs and midsection girth do not translate well into a digital image, I am afraid, and such a sight might send legions of blog visitors scurrying for the nearest commode.
However, as soon as I reached my first lecture I knew that I was overdressed, and my 90-minute talk about the period of the Bourbon Reforms was one of extreme perspiration. The polypropylene fleece, double-layered thermal long johns quickly built up a layer of body heat that I could not vent, and I began sweating like a Saran-wrapped race horse in just minutes.
Of course, in these hermetically-sealed modern buildings, there is no simple solution like "open a window" to solve this problem. I had to suffer in silence, streams of sweat running down down my sides and forehead, and I probably looked like I swallowed a mouthful of Bhut Jolokia peppers.
After class I had to discreetly sequester myself in a lavatory and peel the soggy long johns from my body. If I become stranded this evening in a snowbank, I will put them back on, but these highly efficient fleece long johns are better suited for folks in Antarctica.